Karma Police

It's funny how things work out.

On the day when my normally passive mother finally divulges her thoughts to me, essentially telling me that my life has been a failure ("You know, you're going to be thirty this year."), I also unintentionally find out that my ex-girlfriend is pregnant with her first child. Of course, these things are bound to happen, and it's quite probable that I would find these things out eventually. But when fucking facebook reveals this tidbit of information, you kind of want to kill the messenger, so to speak.

Facebook affords you the opportunity to connect with people you haven't heard from in years, including the ex-girlfriend who dropped you like a bad habit after a three year relationship (to the day!) without a word of explanation and left you emotionally distraught for years to come and with whom you haven't spoken since shortly after she called you while you were half way across the country with all your belongings packed into your car on your way to meet and live with her in California while she was still staying with your extended family. The joys of online social connectivity!

The best part is that I wasn't even attempting to cyberstalk her. Honest. If I were, then I would be less inclined to chalk this one up to the gods playing a cruel trick on me, and thereby indirectly giving me a wicked hangover tomorrow morning. The circuitous nature by which I found out is unsurprising for anyone familiar with the facebook. You click on a friend's profile, and then click through to another friend, and then while scanning the posts on his wall to see what he's been up to you all of a sudden see a name you haven't seen in some time and read, "Hey! How are you? It's been forever! I'm 4 months pregnant and happier than ever! Especially happier than I ever was when I was with that looser Zach - whatever happened to him anyways? Actually, who cares? That guy was going nowhere with his life!"

Ok, so I made that last part up. But after getting taken to task by my loving mother - whose opinion is one of the few I actually care about in this world (to be fair, she does care about me very much and was just speaking her mind, which is better than her normal passivity, I guess...) - it kind of took that form in my wildly overactive brain. I definitely do not approve of wallowing, nor do I enjoy complaining to others about my (especially when put in perspective) meaningless difficulties that everyone has dealt with at some point in his or her life. But since no one actually reads this, I figure I can get away with this as more or less an online journal entry.

And all this, after hearing last fall that the other half of my most recent relationship - that ended with some spectacular fireworks - was also with child. Granted, I don't pine for either of these women, but it definitely draws a sharp contrast to the view my mother has about the apparent dearth of production in my life up to this point. ("What have you been doing with your life?")

When it rains it pours, my friend(s). Or maybe it's just when something gets you down, it's easy to look around and only focus on the bad shit happening, filtering out any positive around you. Either way, I'll have another, kind sir. Better make it a double this time.